So for some reason or other, I got to thinking about funerals. I think it might have been some random show on TLC about urban legends and the guy who gets a ton of money just by randomly using the restroom at a church and signing the guestbook at a funeral viewing and being the only visitor. The story goes that the deceased had left a provision that the estate be divided up between those who came to give their last respects, and since he was the only one, he gets all the dough. Its pretty silly. Anyway, it got me to thinking about funerals in general.

When my grandmother passed away, it was one of the single most sad moments I've ever faced. We had just bought a house and had a lot of things going on in our lives. The week before she passed on, there was a scare when we thought she might only have that day to live. I was at work when my dad called and I was able to leave and go with my brother up to Prescott to see her. She had stabilized and showed a little improvement. That night I came back home with the idea that we would go back up to see her because she seemed to have improved to the point of maybe being able to leave the hospital. For whatever reason, we didnt make it back up there to see her and the following week she passed away. When I went up for the funeral, it was a really tough thing. I had spent so much time with her since I was a child growing up, done so many things together that I had a really hard time with the idea that she was gone. At the funeral itself, there were friends of my parents, people from the business and family. The priest guy that oversaw the ceremony didnt have his act together and didnt have me and my father speak, which was frustrating. We went to cemetary, did the burial and one of my brothers cried and was very upset in the car ride on the way back home. We had a reception at my parents house which was very strange, I didnt like that at all. I guess thats what you're supposed to do, but I think its bullshit. Stupid tradition that is meaningless.

So I was thinking who'd be there. I would love to think that it'd be like the "funeral" in Big Fish, where they all come out of the woodwork, old teachers, childhood friends, people from Sky Y, all the High School crowd, teachers from college, friends from Cowden and others, people from Scottsdale Culinary and a few other places in and around the valley. There are people that I'd want to be there that most likely wouldnt, Melanie from college, Allana from SCI, Bob and Sean from Tempe and others. People would be older, have kids and other family members I hadnt met before I passed. I think it was Rob Gordon who said in High Fidelity "I've always had this fantasy that some beautiful, tearful woman would insist on "You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me" by Gladys Knight. But who would that woman be?" I love that quote.